by Jaijot Kaur
If you think you have fallen in love with your tantric partner, look again. It’s you!
No one gave me this advice, or if they did, I could not hear them. At my first Solstice event, I dove head-first (notice, I did not say heart-first) into a relationship. He was everything I had been looking for, packaged so nice-and-neat into one, perfect human. How could this be! I was in heaven! I was in love! I even told him this, and he reciprocated.
After the event, we reluctantly went our separate ways. We talked every day at great length. Within a very short time, he planned a visit. We got together and the rest is history. We lived happily ever after.
Hahahahhaha, Not actually! We had a volatile three and a half year relationship filled with break-ups and make-ups. It was the most painful heartache of my life. I had given myself – my whole heart and physical body – to a complete stranger. How could I have been so naïve?
Three years later, I found an opportunity for redemption. My tantric partner fell in love with me…or so they thought. I watched it happen. I could see it on their face, clear as day. Of course, the truth is, they fell in love with themselves (possibly for the first time in their adult life). But they projected that love right across the aisle at me. They thought the goodness they felt, the enlivened joy and ecstasy, was because of me. I held space for it, meaning I did not squelch or entertain the notion. Neither one. I just let it be and staying authentic to my truth. I smiled and sincerely hugged in return. Then, I promptly denied the invitation to their tent. Post event, I answered the phone calls and the texts until they eventually stopped. What blossomed instead was a deep bond of friendship. We still catch up at Solstice and have even practiced White Tantric Yoga together again. Even more, I know they are there for me if I ever need a friend.
There’s a happy ending to the first story, too. After two years of separation (lots of Self Love and healing), I am able to be his friend. We connected this past Solstice and have spoken on the phone a few times since. Furthermore, my immense Self Love allowed me to attract a partner that is a better match. I’m so happy in a new relationship.