Re-Write Your Story
by Jagat Joti Kaur
You’ve probably heard of the suggestion “re-write your story”, right? The statement has a sense of command to it “(just) re-write your story” like it is the easiest thing in the world to do. Perhaps even confronting and upsetting – that somehow if you fail to “just re-write your story” then you’re stupid or lacking in imagination or … falling short in some way – that by nature “re-writing your story” is easy. The mind can grab this, and play cruel games: “What’s WRONG with you?” an inner voice says with acidic accusation: “Just change your story”. So, no. I am not going to insist here that you JUST do – anything, including “just change your story”.
Yet… somehow equally – a longing and a prayer that indeed, even though it feels impossible some or most of the time – there is nonetheless a desire for an experience of real transformation. What to do then stuck between: A wanting to change your story but a frustration that you’ve tried so many times with what feels like little or no success? How about a pause instead. Just opening the window, as you do first thing in the morning to feel the subtle change in temperature. No, not even commanding the breath to be other than the way it is. Not even telling it off for not being longer and deeper, nor pushing the spine to straighten, nor the shoulders to drop, nor the chest to open. Not telling the mind it’s thinking too many thoughts in your head nor the breath to change its shallowness as it moves in and out and the out and in once again.
So, not rushing forward nor slowing down but instead noticing– what a miracle – just this air that enters the nostrils – at what point can we say it is breath? On the exhale noticing the change in micro climate as the wind tunnels inwards then out once again across the terrain of the upper lip. Imagine you can feel the complete pathway as it vibrates down the windpipe into the lungs, bronchi and alveoli, through arteries, veins and capillaries, refreshing the blood through the pulmonary artery, arms, legs, fingers and toes, oxygenating the blood as it goes. The fresh prana floods your body with healing – delivering whatever qualities you are needing in your life right now. Simply breathing in to receive and then easily letting it go. Breathing in love, delight, courage, peace, balance, vitality, forgiveness, gratitude and clarity in this breath, just this one little breath.
So, no – not adding even more pressure on top of pressure to change your story the way that Mind says it must do so. No, not just one more thing to your never ending list that couldn’t ever get done because you’re already far too busy. No, none of that. Just one breath, nothing else. It won’t make you late for your meeting or getting to the car so you miss the traffic. No, it’s not something tiring when you know you are already too exhausted. It doesn’t require you to stand up or sit down when you just don’t feel like it either. Just giving yourself this moment right now for this breath just for you. Then if you choose, at any time you remember in the future – switching on the kettle, reaching for your keys – opening or closing a door – remembering that breath then becomes like water that nourishes and flourishes true in you. Just this one little breath, that is all. Sat naam. Sat naam. Sat naam.
This is an example of not arguing with your mind, but instead taking yourself on a journey that gives you a different experience of yourself – and hopefully also some relief from feeling stuck in a story that doesn’t serve you.
Jagat Joti Kaur